A 29-year-old Singaporean man died by suicide on 6 September 2025, weeks after his girlfriend ended their eight-year relationship and requested he cancel their Build-To-Order flat.
The couple had been together since their polytechnic days. They were planning to move into their BTO flat between June and August 2026. The relationship ended in late July 2025.
His mother, Madam Tan, told Stomp the family had set aside $50,000 for flat renovation and $10,000 for the wedding. The girlfriend asked him to cancel their BTO application before officially ending the relationship.
He attempted suicide on 28 July 2025, one day after the break-up, but was rescued. The family organized a cruise and a trip to Shanghai to help him cope. He couldn’t recover from the emotional impact. In his final note, he called himself “useless.”
The family hasn’t informed his 92-year-old grandmother. Madam Tan said he was their only child.
Educational and Work Background
The man held a Diploma in Mechatronics from Temasek Polytechnic. He later studied aerospace engineering at Nanyang Technological University but left after two years when home-based learning during Covid-19 became difficult.
He worked as an engineering technician at Applied Materials for three years and received a performance award there. His mother described him as thrifty and responsible. He had over $200,000 in savings and investments.
He did Lalamove deliveries at one point. In May 2025, he changed jobs to please his girlfriend. His mother opposed this decision because motorbike deliveries are dangerous. Madam Tan said he wasn’t ambitious but was a good son who remained faithful throughout the relationship.
As an only child, he would have inherited the family’s assets. His parents are in their mid-60s. Everything—including their car—would have gone to him.
Ex-Girlfriend’s Explanation
In a message seen by Stomp, the ex-girlfriend said she ended the relationship after years of “emotional exhaustion.” She had tried encouraging him to improve but felt they no longer shared the same outlook on life.
She wrote that she noticed he gave up when things got tough, whether in studies or work. She didn’t want to marry when these concerns existed. Over eight years, she hoped he would change. He didn’t.
She expressed sorrow and asked the mother to watch over him. She feared he might not understand her reasons.
Madam Tan questioned why the girlfriend waited eight years to end things. The girlfriend had attended family gatherings like Chinese New Year and discussed wedding plans with them.
The mother believes the Housing and Development Board should provide counselling for couples canceling BTO flats. She said every couple sees getting a BTO as a final step before marriage. Support might have helped.
Over 100 friends and colleagues attended his wake.
“If he was a bad person, would so many have come?” his mother said. “Seriously, I am still in shock—what did she see as a bad trait in my son?”
HELPLINES
- Institute of Mental Health’s Mental Health Helpline: 6389-2222 (24 hours)
- Samaritans of Singapore: 1767 (24 hours)/ 9151-1767 (24-hour CareText via WhatsApp)
- Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019
- Silver Ribbon Singapore: 6386-1928
- Tinkle Friend: 1800-274-4788
- Chat, Centre of Excellence for Youth Mental Health: 6493-6500/1
